“the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”
Hi fellow bloggers, it’s been so long since I’ve been back. With all these big new changes coming my way, I felt the need to sit down, blog it out, and update my life. I’m currently in my fourth year of college and I’ll be finishing a semester early. Never thought I could say I finished college EARLY… even if it’s just by one semester. I’m currently applying to graduate school which is thee most frustrating process ever. I receive flashbacks to those horrible memories of applying to colleges for my undergraduate degree. I feel the stress and pressure weighing heavily on me, of not only my parents but myself, to succeed and accomplish this dream. I am aiming for graduate school for occupational therapy. I am on my way world! I finally found my dream, goal, and passion in life. I love working with children in this healthcare setting. Helping these children, setting goals, implementing objectives and working with the families, it’s a dream job for me. However, I just hate that I have to go through more schooling.. more exams, credentials and licensing… it’s too much. I just want to work… is that so hard?? I want to contribute in this society and start helping my parents out with financial dues. It’s been hard on my family lately since my father was recently laid off and my mother chose to retire early. It was hardest going through my father’s lay-off. We never thought it would occur. It’s something you feel like that would occur in movies, until suddenly it enters reality. Before you know it, you lost a huge chunk of income monthly and it takes a huge toll on the family. I don’t even know if we can pay for my applications to graduate school. All I do know, is that if I don’t get in this round, it’ll be such a disappointment. USC is my dream school and I know I can get in. It’s just the GRE that’s standing in my way. I honestly hate standardized testing. I am absolutely no good at it, no matter how many hours I put into studying. I hate that the number I receive as a score determines my worth. It determines my placement in the application teams’ review whether I am deemed worthy enough to be given a place in the next round of cohorts. Life isn’t fair. Life is never fair, yet we are never allowed to complain about it. We are told to suck it up, learn from it all, and move on. It honestly isn’t the best advice but it’s the one I’ve taken. So here I am, juggling volunteering, work, GRE, classes, and application forms and slowly dying underneath my smile. I feel like here is where I am most honest than I ever been in the past month.
I end here with my prayer to God about all my struggles and hardships and breakdowns. I give everything to him, and through his strength and guidance, I know that I’ll be taken care of. I need to accept that it is His plan and not my own. It is so hard for me to give up control so I admit, this is something I am still working on. Nonetheless, it’s about trying. I pray that He’ll watch over my family and my father. I pray that He has a greater plan for my family and me.